Just my thoughts...

...Earlier today someone said, "I thought you'd be the one pregnant, I'm surprised you're a virgin, with that body I thought you had some help" 
O_o ---------------> I Almost caused me to slap them through my laptop. 

But no shade towards peeps with babies before marriage, or for those engaging in sex before marriage. But I'm just personally not about that life. I'm ready to do it, but it's not my time, until I'm married. I've had my chances and times to do it, but either God intervened, I got scared, or simply just didn't want too. It's about choosing Christ over your flesh. I can't even afford to buy the simple cheap things in life! Babies cost as much as car Lol... That really blew my life away for like 5 seconds.
Just because my hips, back & front side are highly blessed, doesn't mean I had "help". Like seriously..... She explained to me how I'm missing out on life. How sex is a great past time, how it's a great way to lose weight....and so on and so forth. It was stated that, I should have sex with my court mate so I can know what to expect on my wedding night. I honestly can't wait to unwrap that gift for me & my future husband. I won't have anyone to compare him too! I won't know what to expect! It'll all be a new exciting adventure to legally be on! It grinds my gears & breaks my heart because she's a believer, and we ALL fall short. But some use that as an excuse. It gets old to me personally. I'm doing this thing where...when God tells me something I listen, and act upon what he's directing me to do. They call it: Obedience. I'm trying this thing called...showing love even when it hurts! Trust me it hurts to love some people these days. But Christ loved the people who spit in his face back in the day & if we're suppose to be Jesus with skin on.... I should love them too right? Even the ones who try to feed foolishness into my life. All I can do is pray for my dear associate.

Bottom Line: We all have to do better. Stop making excuses, and justifying our sin. Acknowledge your wrong doing, Get in God's face, seek accountability, and maybe...just maybe do better on purpose! We're born into sin, but as a Christian we're not sinless, but we are suppose to sin less, and seek accountability. I want my heart to break for what breaks Gods. I want to make him smile! I desire to be a Proverbs 31 woman. I won't get it 100%...100% of the time...but isn't it worth a try!? Just my thoughts.

Character.

What a day. It's 2:07am & I'm up because I had coffee O_o *sigh*
This is the price I have to pay. So....... I'm writing.
Anyway, Back to today....Not a bad one at all. Actually rather suitable. Productive. Tolerable. I can't complain. I'm just blessed to see another day. You know, be given another chance.

Any-who, I learned something today. Two things happened. Two messages were sent out from me earlier today & the responses we're "interesting"-------> To say the LEAST.

The first response, I simply just didn't understand. I believe God led someone else to handle that for me. It worked out just fine in the end, to me at least, Feels good when you know you've done nothing wrong. So that's all I'll type on that situation ;)

The second response. One word: AWKWARD. First I'm all "caffeinated" up & extra hype for like no freaking reason. I've literally been in busy, laughing mood all evening! But this person tried to come for me and my relationship. I'll share this with whomever reads this blog, the person wrote this, "...if u trust him and feel confident in your relationship..."Mind you this person does not know me, or what I'm capable of (Excuse my gangsta! #ThugLife #OG----> But not really Lol)...but I told God that I'd be nice...and show love to my neighbor and enemies. So I feel like THAT indeed was a test. IT HAD TO BE! The Lord only knows how I feel about those kind of people. Just know I was biting my tongue. Holding onto my character and integrity. Wasn't trying to hurt any feelings tonight, with my lil hyper self. The line," if u trust him and feel confident in your relationship" is hilarious to me! Why do people think they can use that! Is that some kind of threat? Is that suppose to make me feel inferior? Ohhhh I guess it's suppose to make me doubt? Maybe break me down a lil bit? Lol.... hilarious to me. Some need to take several seats for the rest of their life. Anyway, I'm just thankful to say after some trails and tribulations my baby and I have had, by the grace, mercy, and unconditional love that God has for us---> we've overcome. Trust and Confidence isn't an issue, only by the grace of God. God put us together, and he's the one between us and the glue keeping us together! I tell ya------> Girls are a trip these days. Glad I'm a Lady ;)

When God places someone special in your life (spouse, court-mate, husband/wife, etc.) Be mindful of people who are outside of it. Your past shouldn't have a place in your future. All I can say is---> Exit stage left! & MOVE forward, I aint looking back. #ThatIsAll

Enough about all of that! There's this song out by Mali Music.....called "Ready Aim"
It's actually what's in my ear right now! It's super dope! I couldn't not share! I mean what kind of person would I be, if I don't share AMAZING music!?! Lol
Take a sneak peak-----> http://m.soundcloud.com/malimusicnote/ready-aim/s-oEXFX 
"Ready Aim----> FIRE! You wont shoot me down! NO!" ----> TOUGH....tough for no reason.


Always Remember: The condition and content of our heart reveals our Character. PROVERBS 4:23-------> Our character determines our future and success more than anything else. Lord show me...me...show me the condition of my heart. Make my heart better...put content on my heart that will strengthen my character. Do open heart surgery on MY HEART. HELP ME build my character!

Love Always,
-Crys ♥

The Day After...

*sigh* so much has gone on.....this weekend. All in all great things, of course! A tad challenging, but God doesn't put ANYTHING in your path that you can't handle. Overall, with everything that was going on with me, missing a special someone's birthday. My weekend was good. *sigh*

As I promised here are some notes:
Saturday Afternoon Notes Pt 1.------> THE 4:8 LEADER

• All lasting change is preceded by changed thinking. Any other type of change will only be temporary. 
• Mind over matter. Control your thought life.
• Joy is not a distant destination at which you arrive, rather it's a path you choose to travel each day.
• You carry your weather. You decide how to feel.
• Be happy
• Whatever you give your attention to, becomes your experience/
• In order to be better, DO better. (Something I always say)
• Remember that dwelling on your problems doesn't fix them; it just makes you an expert on them.
• Acting your way into the feeling you most desire.
• If God tests you in something-----> you either pass or take the class again.
• Emotions don't reveal the quality of your life; they reveal the quality of your thinking at any particular moment.
• Don't identify yourself with your problems. Identify with your solutions.
• "Don't feed it, and it won't grow!"
• Whatever you give your attention too becomes your experience.
• Sometimes God will take everything away for you to realize he's all you need.
• Don't let your PAST operate your future.

Saturday Afternoon Notes Pt 2.---------> PRAYER (The interactive Journey)

• Sometimes we view prayer as: Pointless, boring, ineffective, mechanical & fake, gene-ish (used up wishes), Generic (Now I lay me down to sleep..., God is great..., May the Lord watch...)
• Prayer is like oxygen (YOU NEED OXYGEN....THE SAME WAY YOU NEED PRAYER!)
• MAIN POINT: It takes FAITH to pray. (TRUTH)
• Your faith won't grow until you see what prayer can do. (James 1:6)
• Have FAITH in God. Have FAITH in your conversation with God. Have FAITH that God can what you're asking him to do. (Check out a book called, "The Circle Maker") 

Always remember: God will do what he said he will do, he will stand by his word. He will come through. 

Saturday Night Notes Pt 3.---------> Deadly Paths of Leadership (4 total)

But by the GRACE of God...

Deadly Path #1: SELF DOUBT/INSECURITY
-Not believing you're good enough to do what God has called you to do.
-Not qualified to be a leader.
-Too old or too young

------> It's so simple: GOD ALWAYS HAS THE FINAL SAY!
*God has the fist & last say of our destiny!
2 Corinthians 12:9 "...my grace is sufficient for you..."
*God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called!

Deadly Path #2: LONELINESS
-When no one is there for you

 Matthew 28:20 "...I'll be with you always, til the end of the ages"
*Don't forget someone else felt the same way---> Jesus.

*Some of your most lonely times, are great times to do something for the kingdom (Not sure if I heard this particular part correctly.?)


Deadly Path #3: EMOTIONAL HURT & BETRAYAL
 -They said they loved you, but they said they had your back
-They said they were your friend, but used you instead
-Makes you feel like you're done with people
Psalm 147:3 "...he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

*If you stay there long term & allow someone to control what you do. Then you're giving them power over your life, that only GOD deserves.
*God deals with us in-spite of us, so love EVERYONE on his behalf. We aren't allowed to stop loving people until Jesus does...and that means NEVER!
------> God will always wrap his arms around you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Deadly Path #4: UNFORGIVEN FAILURES
-Times when we fail in our life, and don't forgive yourself
-If you truly love God, you wouldn't have done it in the first place

*Now therefore there's NO condemnation! For those who are in Christ Jesus! Once your his...you're his & he'll never let you go.
*Despite what we do GOD LOVES US! (Point Blank Period)  


 Be mindful these are things you may not see...BUT by the grace of God.
Prayer: Lord redirect our focus & pull us back!



<--------------------------------RECAP-----------------Sunday Morning Notes----------------------------->

• PERSPECTIVE----> Progress is impossible without change & those who cannot change their minds...cannot change ANYthing.
• While you wait PRAY & PREPARE (As I would say----> Gods waiting room!!!)
•  PROVERBS 3:5-6-----> God will direct your path. Reflect more and decrease, so that he may increase. There's no surprises for God. He is everything & knows everything!
• POUR OUT-----> Follow Gods blueprint. I was Chosen. God is awesome and amazing. I will find someone to POUR OUT too & or pour into.

*It's not meant for us to keep in everything God gives to us. That's selfish.
*So Lord always show me...ME!
*Make the choice in your mind to keep going!

Here's a P from me: Purpose! Stand firm in what God has called YOU to do. When challenges come your way say to yourself or shout out Loud!!!---> "My life has PURPOSE & I am worth more then anyone could ever imagine"



SIDE-NOTE:
What happens when God has laid something important on your heart. You did it and THEN get rejected. When all you're trying to do is be the bigger person. Show the person that you love them REGARDLESS of how they treat you----> PLUS the person is older. *sighhhhhh* I'm just trying to understand how someone can be so cold in the heart, So closed off to being nice to someone. IDK..... Im frustrated and in a TIGHT spot...because this person is so close to someone (not by choice) whose oh so important to me, means so much to me. It's so wack. Any-who I reached out and I'M MAKING AN EFFORT. But the other  simply isn't. I'll continue to show the love of God. I'll continue to every now and then reach out. One day, maybe sooner than later. I'll in their life and they wont have any control over that. As a Christian we are called to love one another, our neighbor, and even our enemy. We are suppose to treat each other the way we desire to be treated, and that's EXACTLY what I'll do.


Well with ALL the notes, and me expressing what's on my mind..... it just reminded me to, BE AND STAY KINGDOM FOCUSED, and that's all I can do. He can handle the rest.

Love Always,
-Crys ♥

Leadership Retreat.

The definition of a leader to me......well could be very simple. Someone who takes the lead... O_o Lol
Literally when I looked up the word "Leader" the same definitions came up. Some different, but most the same. A leader is someone who leads. Plain and simple. Someone who takes charge. In my mind, usually someone you trust, someone you can count on....
Honestly, if I don't trust you...then why would I follow your lead. So many people want to stand up and be leaders! But truly don't understand what it really means to lead. Anyhow, that was on my mind....wanted to get it out of my system!

As some may know, just by having personal contact with me in real life! I'm at a leadership retreat. Honestly I'd rather be celebrating my man's 24th birthday with him in Florida. Today, Saturday, February 23rd is his 24th birthday! Exciting right!? But I feel like I should be there with him, bringing in his birthday right! Instead of being here, with strangers I've never seen before....yet have to communicate and maybe just maybe connect, and build a relationship with. Bae says, "Focus on the retreat"...I'm trying....but so many things are trying to stop me from enjoying myself. But God is showing himself to be true. Let me explain. First, In my room we have 3 beds...and four girls. I picked the big bed, I never pick the big bed.......but we had to share. I almost nearly had a panic attack...I DON'T SHARE A BED WITH A STRANGER! #NoBueno #AintAboutTHATLife She nice though. So Ashley the really nice 23yr old I met offered to switch beds. I DON'T HAVE TO SHARE! Lol Second, I get my hair in these Marley braid twists. Im thinking everything is everything! Don't have to touch my hair all weekend, so I'm good! NEGATIVE...my scalp had an allergic reaction to the hair....I thought my head was on fire. #NaturalHairProblems #Allergies So my sisters took them out *sigh* Sad, but my scalp isn't on fire anymore! ;)

Third, It's my babies 24th birthday & he's in FL & I'm in Md. I wont see him, which beyond sucks! #Courtship #BestFriends #LongDistance BUT I have all my bars over here. So I'm able to talk to him on his birthday! I absolutely love birthdays!  Fourth, I was over tonight quickly, idk why.....well lets just say it's "that time"...but worship was on point for me! God showed up!...sheesh! In the end...I miss my baby like crazy! Wish he would've been here. But everything I take in...of course I'll share with him. That's what a GREAT future wife does ;) Lol

So maybe just maybe as always..... God came through.

That was just the first night of the retreat! Lol I'll update later this weekend! For all who actually read my blog! Lol


God Bless & Goodnight!

Always remember your: "Too Blessed to be stressed & too beautiful to have an ugly day!"

Love Always,
-Crys ♥

♥

So many AMAZING things are happening. I'm in an amazing courtship, moving towards marriage with the second love of my life Jordan Garner (The first being God). I'm about to be an Auntie! My older brother Chris & his wife Jamia are pregnant, and I couldn't be happier for them. They deserve it! I can only imagine when J & I have babies of our own....AFTER marriage that is! #AintNobodyGotTimeForThat Lol

Any-who, As a 23 year old lady-------> I had my first all girls sleepover! Some of my amazing sisters came through, and stayed over for awhile! It was great being a hostess, especially for the first time! We cooked! We made vision boards! We talked! We danced! We sang! (All my friends are so gifted & talented! God knew what he was doing! Thanks God!) It was overall a great weekend! Very Thankful to God for that! I surely needed a relaxing weekend.....to take my mind off things. I just got back a few weeks ago from Florida. I was with my baby J....leaving him always hurts. It doesn't get any easier, honestly. The more I fall in love with him, the harder I gets. (I fall in love with this guy everyday, over and over again) God gets me through it every time. Sometimes I think if my heart wasn't as big as it is...it wouldn't hurt as much. Silly right? I miss him. Jordan...baby I miss you, more then you know. It's alright though, one day I'll be his wife. I don't know the day nor hour, but one day. I'm hopeful & I have a feeling that it's coming...sooner than later. That's what courtship is all about in the end. Marriage.


This particular part has nothing to do with what I posted but....I don't care----> it was on my heart. Thought I'd share. Take a look ;)

Always remember, don't let yourself be limited by someones labels. Go above & beyond, and do exactly what God has called YOU to do! Your dreams & desires are beautifully and wonderfully made just like YOU! Give it to God, let him direct your path, and do awesome things with the gift(s) he's given you.


Love Always,
-Crys ♥ 

"Brand New."

So....this is so random! I said I was going to do this awhile ago....but something happened...then something happened again...and again. Let's just say it was bad timing, to broadcast anything that was going on in my life back then. But now, I'm feeling...for lack of better words------> "brand new".

This blog is for me to share my thoughts. Feelings.....my life with you all. As well as share my courtship between Jordan & I...with you all (Jordan is the guy whose in all the pictures! He's so handsome! *hehe*) You won't know every juicy detail, somethings are simply just for us, his privacy is important to me. As for me, I don't mind sharing. Being a woman in a courtship, when you're so ready, but have to wait...can be frustrating. I know I'm not alone or wateva! So I'm going to be honest about everything I post on here. From my heart to yours.



That's all for now Loves (I'll be referring to all my lovely readers as Loves. I think it's super cute!)
Welcome to a limitless Love story.

Love Always,
-Crys ♥